...everything Stephen already said. I feel like the energy I had from the adrenaline of this past week is gone now, but we still have the situation at hand to deal with. We still have a sick baby. I think I can speak for both of us when I ask you to pray for a clear mind to make decisions and energy to be whatever Josiah needs in the coming days.
I am particularly struggling with my fearful thoughts about the future. Someone advised me not to project Josiah's future, and what good counsel! I want/need to be here today for Josiah, but my emotions are just all over the place. It's been difficult to say the least.
Pray for the cells in his head to stop multiplying and for a few smiles tomorrow. It was a long day.
Redeemer, we'll miss being with you tomorrow and look forward to communing with you soon in person.
I keep typing and retyping different things that I think might encourage you or lighten the load, but I can't even image the weight you felt today. I'm thankful that our Lord doesn't have to imagine, and His measure of understanding is inscrutable. And I'm glad to have read others' comments...others who have experienced something similar and are eager to build you both up. We love you all so much and wish we could be with you.
ReplyDeleteI say faith is a burden
It's a weight to bear
It's brave and bittersweet
And hope is hard to hold to
Lord, I believe
Only help my unbelief
Till there's no more faith
No more hope
I'll see your face and Lord, I'll know
That only love remains
(Andrew Peterson)
We are praying for you today. Here are some verses that I hold to when fear comes...
ReplyDelete"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (II Timothy 1:7)
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”
—Isaiah 41:10,13
Donna
Stephen and Merri,
ReplyDeleteI know first hand, St. Jude is not a campus of buildings. It is a place of hope. Danny Thomas, founder, who believed, built this place of hope on faith-a faith he lived. There is a St. Jude. St. Jude is not the logo of a business. There is nothing wrong with praying for a miracle. They still happen-really! St. Jude, Pray for us.
Love,
Uncle Dick and Aunt Kathy
Merri, we have heard so often that a mother's love is the closest thing to God's love. He knows your pain, knows your needs, and will never forsake you. Everyone is lifting your family up in prayer. Even when it seems surreal, God's grace is sufficient. Hopefully the doctors will address the stress little Josiah is going through and you will see those smiles again.
ReplyDeleteStephen and Merri,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this blog and the updates. Thank you for the opportunity for your friends and family to share comments. Here are some thoughts and verses which have been a comfort to me and my family as we have struggled with my daughter's many serious medical issues over the years. I pray that you will find comfort and peace as you walk the difficult road you have been given. Sometimes goodness is hard to find on such a journey, but look for the Lord to reveal Himself to you in ways that He hasn't before. Have faith that His power and Light can reach the invisible dark cells that hide in precious Josiah and command them to leave. I am praying for that to be His desire and for that to bring Him glory forever.
Jer 31:3 The LORD has appeared to me from afar, saying, "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Psa 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God;
Jhn 16:33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
Praise You in this Storm
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
Chorus:
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji2rLXr3cEU
We missed you guys today too. Keep us posted on anything you need-
ReplyDelete-brocatos
We continue to keep your precious son in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteTom Jones
I love you so much, sweet sister. I read your words and BOY DOES IT BRING IT ALL BACK! You have a good support, a good faith, and a precious baby. You are doing everything right to enjoy every minute and make the best decisions for Josiah and your family. God is holding you tightly. I do not understand why God uses children and us when we are so frail. I wish He would use someone else selfishly. You know J belongs to God first and you are called to be his parents - and what GREAT parents you are!!! But none of that helps when sadness overwhelms you. I know.
ReplyDeleteI'm here for you every step of the way. It is a long, exhausting process - raising a chronically ill baby. It is healthy to be sad sometimes too. You are grieving the loss of what you thought of as "normal". It is normal to be sad, and you will move on.
Life - not just birth - is such a miracle. I am amazed that humankind goes on everyday. In Him are all things created. By Him and For Him.
And there is a reason I raised a chronically ill baby and later lost Luke. ANd part of that reason, I have to think is to help you during this trying time.
Enjoy the sunsets, the smiles you get, and the birds in the air. Hold your baby - you cannot spoil him - and so what if you do. Treasure every moment.
I love you all!!
-Sissy
BTW - the singer of Praise you in the storm goes to our church here in Houston. He sang it on Easter and stood in a waterfall of real water singing the chorus. I balled my eyes out. That song was one of my grieving songs. I pray it gives you strength too!
ReplyDeletePraying for God to blow away EVERYONE with the miracle only He can deliver - eradicate the cancer from Baby Josiah's body and let that be the testimony J is called to demonstrate for all to see!